“So, I’m stuck without being able to buy a costume.  But, even if I could buy a costume
I wouldn’t look anything like the real character… I would be a HUGE
version of the real character with disproportional features.”

Well, that’s exactly what I did.  My wife talked me into doing a couple costume as DOG the Bounty Hunter and his big-busted wife Beth!

I was a giant version of DOG the Bounty Hunter accompanied by my beautiful wife!  I decided to wear jeans instead of trying to find leather pants in my size! (For which I am thankful they do not make in my size, because what would just be plain gross)

I thought I would share the results with you and give all you Plus-Size Costume seekers hope!

* Those are not real… they are balloons.

• The costumes in the stores just don’t fit!  No matter how much I look I can’t just go grab a costume from the local “Halloween shop” 

• Sure, I can get a mask, but what about the rest of the ensemble?  When all your clothes are super expensive (I just bought a pair of “cheap jeans” for $50).  Who can afford to get an outfit for just one night?

• I know what you’re saying… go to Goodwill or Salvation Army… IT WON’T WORK!  Fat people don’t give up their old clothes.  (More on that in a future blog post) 

• So, I’m stuck without being able to buy a costume.  But, even if I could buy a costume I wouldn’t look anything like the real character… I would be a HUGE version of the real character with disproportional features.

• It sucks that skinny people can get “fat suits” and it’s funny.

• When fat guys dress up as “normal guys” it’s gross. (But still sorta funny)

So, my last option is to find a character that is fat, right?  Well, there’s not much to choose from! 

1. Chris Farley – DEAD and way overdone.  I mean “fat guy in a little coat” is a bit overplayed!
2. Fat Bastard from Austin Powers – No Thanks! I can’t tell you how many times I was teased with “Get in my Belly” after that movie came out.
3. A Biggest Loser Contestant (before the show) – Maybe!
4. Fat Albert – I’m white.
5. Santa – BORING!!! Plus, you have to deal with all these kids and what they want for Christmas

To be absolutely honest, what I want to be this Halloween is Peter Griffin from Family Guy.  I could pull it off pretty easily, but what about the green pants?  They are pretty crucial!

But, since I don’t have any green pants… I’m probably just going to do something pretty trashy (pun intended).  I’m going to go get one of those giant orange pumpkin trash bags that you put leaves in.  I’m going to cut holes in it and wear it. It’s cheap.  It will fit. It won’t take much time… it’s perfect!  I’ll post pics after the party!

Got any ideas for me for next year?  (Without having to spend a ton of money)