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Apr 27

Fat Guys Float in Water

icon1 Posted by admin in General, Out & About, Products on 04 27th, 2009 | 2 Comments
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I’m no scientist.  In fact, I got horrible grades in science.  I hated using graduated cylinders and the periodic table simply confused me. But, I do know this… I float in water.

I learned at a young age that I was naturally buoyant.  I don’t have to tread water or do the dead mans float to stay above water.  I can just sit there like a fishing bobber waiting for a bite.  I’m sure there’s a real smart answer for why this is possible… but I’m going to boil it down for ya… I’m FAT!

My hypothesis (that’s right I said hypothesis) is that Fat people float in water.  Not just any fat person can float… you have be super fat!  This just gives me extra confidence that if my boat goes under or my plane crashes in the ocean, I have better odds of surviving.  My feet won’t get tired of kicking because I’m just going to be chilling in the water.  I remember on the Riley swim team, that’s another post I need to write, we had these drills where we had to jump in the deep water and tread water and see who could last for the longest time without letting their head go underwater.  I always felt like I was cheating on this drill, because I didn’t even have to kick!

I came across this plus-size water life vest in Living XL and it just made me laugh because I have one built-in!

Utility Water Vest

Aug 7

Being Fat in the Church

icon1 Posted by admin in Religion on 08 7th, 2008 | 3 Comments
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During the Sunday message @ NewSpring Church in Anderson, SC – Perry Noble was discussing Alcohol and whether or now it’s a sin to drink.  (in which he says it’s not) he directly compares the issue to being overweight or obese.  When I first read his notes on the sermon, I was a little offended.  It seemed he was just continually picking on overweight people.  You can watch the entire sermon here. A few of the excerpts are…

  • When I mentioned that alcohol deaths in America are around 100,000 per year…but obesity related deaths are around 300,000 and climbing…WHY ISN’T THE CHURCH TALKING ABOUT THAT?
  • (The church is the only place in America where a glutton can look at a drunkard and somehow feel more righteous than them!)
  • When I said to the pastors who would watch by internet, “I know some of you are pastors and are going to email me and tell me I’m a liberal and that I’m going to hell because I say it is ok to drink alcohol in moderation.  BUT…before you do…please look down and make sure you can see your toes!  Because if you can’t…you writing me would be sort of like you trying to remove a speck in my eye with a plank in yours!”
  • I also mentioned that the SBC passed a resolution several years ago about drinking alcohol…what I’m wondering is when they are going to pass one against abusing buffets!

As you see there are some pretty “in your face” comments here.  I do agree that being unhealthy and abuing your body with food (or whatever) is wrong.  To me there is no doubt about this.  But! (and this is a BIG but)  The one thing that frustrates me about talking about this from a pulpit is that people who are struggling w/ weight sitting in that church stick out like a swore thumb.  Pretty much every other issue is either internal or a habit that can be given up and no one will know you’re dealing with it that morning…   

  • Anger
  • Smoking
  • Drinking
  • Trusting God
  • Reading your Bible

For instance, has anyone ever heard a Pastor say “people really should be bringing their Bibles to church with them” and that just happens to be the Sunday you didn’t bring your. haha  That feeling that everyone is looking at you and knows you didn’t bring yours hits you like a ton of bricks.  Now, just imagine how a 400 lb man would feel when that Pastor says “Being overweight or obese is a sin”.  Yea, it makes you feel like crap!  On my first visit to Granger Community Church this was the topic, about keeping good care of your body.  The speaker was a middle-aged woman that probably weighed less than my right leg.  I still love GCC, because I know their heart but it was tough for me during and after that service.  I got out of there as quick as possible.  I felt like everyone was staring at me.  (It didn’t help that as I looked around the room there weren’t very many other big people in the room)

Now, I’m not saying that churches should skip addressing the issue of obesity.  (I actually think more should)  But, I am asking is there another way of doing it?  Could it not be done more in a 1-on-1 type of way or maybe not focus on it for the majority of the message?  Anyone have any thoughts/suggestions on other ways to handle it?

Back to Perry Noble though… the next day after reading his sermon notes and feeling a little hurt, he put out another post that gave me some of his history and stuggles with weight.  This seemed to make everything a lot easier to hear, as I knew he was coming at the issue with some experience.
Here is his encouraging story.  & Here is his tips on weight loss.

So, Perry thank you for bringing up the issue.  It has really helped me.  You are an inspiration to us all!

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