Lots of food = Lots of poop

I know that equation might shock many of you mathematicians, but it’s true!  Trust me – because when it comes to bathroom math, I am the professor.

Since I spend so much time on the “pot”, “porcelain pony“, “cool stool“, or simply “the john”… comfort is of the highest priority! (See last post – The Toilet Seat from Heaven)  It’s becoming more difficult to find a toilet that is suitable for the big man.  I remember growing up my dad would remember the bathrooms in Northern Indiana that were comfortable and clean enough to be blessed with a deposit.  His last resort was a hotel lobby as he said “hotels always keep their bathrooms clean, just be sure to walk in like you own the place”.

I thought I would share a little of my frustration about toilets and specifically their placement.  As you can see in the picture below, it’s messed up!  Does no one think to measure? If you are any wider than the seat… GOOD LUCK.

I have found myself sitting at an angle many of times.  Who’s the genius that decided to put the toilet paper dispenser on the same level of the toilet?  Should it not be higher than the toilet?  I hate trying to pull the 1-ply (don’t even get me started on 1-ply toilet paper) paper off those mega rolls and it keeps tearing as I get like 1 1/2 squares each time.  I have to stack like 30 squares to equal my Quilted Northern goodness at home!  All that work just to get some paper and they put them so low I can’t see what I’m doing.  (At least the one in the pictures has the dispensers on the side instead of the bottom – Thanks IUPUI Student Center!)

Why don’t they measure and place the toilets evenly between the walls?
No one wants to poop in discomfort!  Some of the stalls are so small I
can barely get in the door and turn around to lock it.  It makes me
feel like I’m on an airplane.  I typically am the guy that goes right
for the handicap stall. – Sorry to those that are actually
handicapped.

So, next time you find yourself crammed into a bathroom stall… think about how the big man feels!