I learned at a young age that I was naturally buoyant.  I don’t have to tread water or do the dead mans float to stay above water.  I can just sit there like a fishing bobber waiting for a bite.  I’m sure there’s a real smart answer for why this is possible… but I’m going to boil it down for ya… I’m FAT!

My hypothesis (that’s right I said hypothesis) is that Fat people float in water.  Not just any fat person can float… you have be super fat!  This just gives me extra confidence that if my boat goes under or my plane crashes in the ocean, I have better odds of surviving.  My feet won’t get tired of kicking because I’m just going to be chilling in the water.  I remember on the Riley swim team, that’s another post I need to write, we had these drills where we had to jump in the deep water and tread water and see who could last for the longest time without letting their head go underwater.  I always felt like I was cheating on this drill, because I didn’t even have to kick!

I came across this plus-size water life vest in Living XL and it just made me laugh because I have one built-in!

Utility Water Vest

Being a big guy… these resources are critical to me!  I mean if a pair of shorts are ripping out (which is a common affair for a big guy), there’s no stopping in at the local Walmart for a new pair.  I have to either find a local Big & Tall store or order a new pair and wait for them to arrive. 

So, when the catalog/website Living XL came out it was very intriguing to me. There a ton of products made with the big man in mind.  There are a number of great products, but the prices.  The prices are ridiculous.  I guess when you have the “fat guy” market cornered you can charge whatever you’d like. 

One product for example is a toliet seat made for big butts!  Big John™ as they call it is in my opinion “the toilet seat from heaven”.  I mean it most definitely looks like it would cushion my tush very nicely. 
If only I could afford the luxuries of a $124.95 toilet seat! – For that price is should also wipe for you.

Now, don’t get me wrong here.  I love Casual Male.