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I’m no scientist. In fact, I got horrible grades in science. I hated using graduated cylinders and the periodic table simply confused me. But, I do know this… I float in water.
I learned at a young age that I was naturally buoyant. I don’t have to tread water or do the dead mans float to stay above water. I can just sit there like a fishing bobber waiting for a bite. I’m sure there’s a real smart answer for why this is possible… but I’m going to boil it down for ya… I’m FAT!
My hypothesis (that’s right I said hypothesis) is that Fat people float in water. Not just any fat person can float… you have be super fat! This just gives me extra confidence that if my boat goes under or my plane crashes in the ocean, I have better odds of surviving. My feet won’t get tired of kicking because I’m just going to be chilling in the water. I remember on the Riley swim team, that’s another post I need to write, we had these drills where we had to jump in the deep water and tread water and see who could last for the longest time without letting their head go underwater. I always felt like I was cheating on this drill, because I didn’t even have to kick!
I came across this plus-size water life vest in Living XL and it just made me laugh because I have one built-in!
