Posted by admin in Tomorrow is Halloween and I have a costume party to go to. This always happens to me… I can’t think of anything to dress up as! My options are limited. It’s not like I can be just any character.
- The costumes in the stores just don’t fit! No matter how much I look I can’t just go grab a costume from the local “Halloween shop”
- Sure, I can get a mask, but what about the rest of the ensemble? When all your clothes are super expensive (I just bought a pair of “cheap jeans” for $50). Who can afford to get an outfit for just one night?
- I know what you’re saying… go to Goodwill or Salvation Army… IT WON’T WORK! Fat people don’t give up their old clothes. (More on that in a future blog post)
- So, I’m stuck without being able to buy a costume. But, even if I could buy a costume I wouldn’t look anything like the real character… I would be a HUGE version of the real character with disproportional features.
- It sucks that skinny people can get “fat suits” and it’s funny.
- When fat guys dress up as “normal guys” it’s gross. (But still sorta funny)
So, my last option is to find a character that is fat, right? Well, there’s not much to choose from!
- Chris Farley – DEAD and way overdone. I mean “fat guy in a little coat” is a bit overplayed!
- Fat Bastard from Austin Powers – No Thanks! I can’t tell you how many times I was teased with “Get in my Belly” after that movie came out.
- A Biggest Loser Contestant (before the show) – Maybe!
- Fat Albert – I’m white.
- Santa – BORING!!! Plus, you have to deal with all these kids and what they want for Christmas
To be absolutely honest, what I want to be this Halloween is Peter Griffin from Family Guy. I could pull it off pretty easily, but what about the green pants? They are pretty crucial!
But, since I don’t have any green pants… I’m probably just going to do something pretty trashy (pun intended). I’m going to go get one of those giant orange pumpkin trash bags that you put leaves in. I’m going to cut holes in it and wear it. It’s cheap. It will fit. It won’t take much time… it’s perfect! I’ll post pics after the party!
Got any ideas for me for next year? (Without having to spend a ton of money)
Black trash bag + black face paint = Black Hole
Luftmensch, Thanks for the idea! I’ll have to write that one down!
Have you settled for having the same challenge next year. Do you like to dance? What about this http://www.zumba.com It’s like excercise but so much more fun and you can do it at home and only have to pay for the dvd’s or have a personal trainer come to your home. Really, the only way to not face something you have already faced is to do something you aren’t already doing. Best wishes Tiny (dancer)
Dude, how could you forget cartman?